June 19th, 1983 Sunday?

The local Hindu society was holding a meeting and a get together. I joined them, but very late. Dr.s Baliga, Gangadharam and Sagar were there. It was quite noisy. Nobody was paying any attention to the spiritual part of the program. (I always minded this aspect of their meetings in my wakeful moments). I was asked to lead a bhajan. I felt shy, but, when Dr. Baliga insisted, I started singing "Hari Om, Hari Om.... Sai Om...", one of my favorite bhajans. The audience was silent just for about a minute. Then, the usual chattering began. I wanted to stop abruptly, but something inside me said "you are not singing for them". So, I continued and finished the song. Then we all went out. There was some kind of rare exhibition. I was walking among strangers.

I did not know what to make out of this dream !!!

September 1st, 1982 Wednessday night?

When we lived in Littleton, CO., the Sai group met in our basement on Sunday afternoons. We had many special moments in that place. Here is the dream:

Baba was standing near His seat with both His hands folded to the front. I did not see the plant that is normally kept at that corner. Also, for some reason I was not sitting at my usual place either. It was Aarati time. I saw Vabiz Ghaswala (a devotee of a long time) motioning to me to offer Aarati. I whispered to her 'I am nervous, Baba is there'. The rest of the people also insisted that I give the Aarati and I had no choice, but be bold. But, I gave it to the picture of Swami and at the end, I realized that Baba was not there.
After that, we went upstairs and saw Baba standing near the coffee maker in the kitchen. I went near Him and requested Him to have lunch with us. He replied that He had quite a few engagements and that He must leave. I begged and told Him that my house was not too far from the center. Then He said that he would be there for lunch.

Thanks Swami !!!

Sivarathri of 1978 - March 7th ??

I was getting things ready to do pooja to Siva. It was in the middle of our living room, not in the pooja room. I set up a Sivalingam on a piece of new cloth. There were all the paraphernalia needed to perform the worship. As I sat down, I remembered that we had parijatha flowers in our garden and got up to bring them. (when I was growing up in Nellore, we did have a huge parijatha tree in our back yard and it was my job to collect the flowers for my grandmother's older sister for pooja). Anyway, i collected the flowers in a large bowl, sat down in front of the altar, took hand full of those delicate, fragrant white flowers in my cupped palms to pour on the lingam. When I raised my head, to my surprise, instead of the Sivalingam, I saw a huge dark man who looked liked Ravana (from Ramayana). For a split second, the thought 'how come, I sat down to worship Siva and instead, this Siva bhakta (devotee of Siva) is here' occurred and he was all smiles. As I raised my cupped hands to pour the flowers on him, I woke up with the sound of shattered glass and that means, I did not worship that form. I got up from my bed looked around the bedroom walls and nothing fell. I walked into the hall way and I saw the 4X6 card board piece with four lines of Swami's quote that had been hanging on the door of the pooja room was now lying on the floor.

Later on, I mentioned this dream to Diane Doughman and she said "it is possible that Baba is warning you 'not to worship the ego, now all your material needs are being fulfilled' . It sounded correct since Ravana is the embodiment of ego, rajasic, even though he was a devotee of Siva. Thank you for the warning Swami.

It is more than 30 years since I have experienced these dreams and I may not be expressing them properly.

Baba in my dream - August 1976

This was a daytime dream. I was pregnant with my daughter Gayatri and I was anemic. I remember it was a Wednesday afternoon. I don't remember the date. Gopal and I were lying on the living room floor of our apartment in Milwaukee. I was telling him the story of 'The three bears and Goldilocks'. I must have dozed off. Now the dream:

I was in the huge bhajan hall in Puttaparthi. I arrived late and realized that the bhajan was over and everyone had left. I apologized to Swami who was standing right in front of me as I entered the hall. I said " Swami, I am so sorry that I am late and missed the bhajans." He said " you are never late. As long as the two of us are here, you did not miss anything. Come on, sit down here. I want to teach you a slokam". I sat down crossed legged on the floor at His feet. He made me repeat the slokam three times and said "now, say it". "Sorry Baba, I did not get it. I did not remember it" I nervously replied. Baba put his thumb and ring finger on my temples and made me repeat. I woke up suddenly and found myself still talking to Gopal and Gopal was still nodding listening to the story. But, I did not remember the slokam. I remembered the meaning of it though. Rao suggested that if I meditate upon the incident, I may remember it. But I was not into meditation - so I ignored that suggestion.

Epilogue to the dream:

We used to recite thousand names of Lalitha every Friday. My family doctor, who later delivered Gayatri initiated this. Each Friday, she and another friend with her two daughters would come to our house and our session would last from 7 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. That week, after the others left, Dr. Alwa asked me to give her a pen and a paper. Because I was anemic, I thought that she was going to write me a prescription and then wondered who would honor it if it is not on a letter head with her credentials. So, I asked her "Is it a prescription?" She replied "No. Since yesterday, something had been telling me to write this for you. I am not a Sanskrit scholar. There could be errors. But I have to give it to you. I gave her my note book in which I wrote the 1000 names of Lalitha and some Sai bhajans. She wrote the slokam in English. I still have that note book. My husband and I could not identify the source. But because of it's meaning I knew that it was the same one that Swami tried to teach me. We left it at that. The following Friday, when the doctor came again, she had a red hard bound book in her hand. She gave it to me and said "I brought this for you". It was Soundarya Lahari published by the Chinmaya mission. After she left, I opened it randomly and my eyes fell on the third slokam and just could not believe my eyes. I was excited, it was the same slokam. I gave that book to Gayatri. She was born in 1977 and in 1979, when I took up a job with a consulting Engineering firm, Rao sent her to India to be under the care of his brother and sister-in-law. I brought her back in 1980, after we moved to Littleton, Colorado. One day, as she was playing in the family room, I heard her recite the same slokam. Shocked, I asked her how she learned it. She said, the disciples of Kanchi Swami (who camped near Hampi ) taught her the slokam. I immediately, realized, that Swami meant that for Gayatri. Without my prompting, later on, after she finished her undergraduate degree, She started memorizing the whole book. I am still mystified with Baba's ways !!!!

March 1974 - Swami visits local Organizations

Preface: No one on either side of our families were Sai devotees. My brother-in-law was the managing director of Tungabhadra steel products at that time. One of the board of directors was visiting and he was a Sai devotee. So, Swami who was inaugurating a company or a factory in a nearby village was requested to visit and bless this company also.

About 2000 workers of all levels were standing in a circle for Swami's darsan. I stood in the crowd holding my son whose was about 21 months old then. I took a receiving blanket along. I had my two questions ready to ask Baba. About my sister and my uncle (see my previous post). To my right was standing my sister-in-law and next to her a mother and son, our friends. That young man was deaf and dumb by birth. We were trying to push him and keep him in the front for Swami to bless him, cure him. Swami came out along with the senior level people of the company. Swami was diagonally opposite to where we were standing. Appeared to be far away. I felt that He looked at us. Suddenly, I saw the baby in my arms fold his palms (like we do namaste). In a split second, I saw Baba standing in front of us. Gopal had his palms still folded, I think. Swami materialized vibhuti and offered (to who?). I stretched my palm and Baba did not give it to me. He was holding it tight between the fingers of His right hand. I took Gopal's hand and opened his palm. Baba put the Holy ash in Gopal's hand while I supported Gopal's with my open palm. Then Swami rubbed Gopal's forehead and chest area with the ashes still sticking to His fingers and said "Good boy. You are a good boy" in English.

At that moment nothing existed for me. I could see nothing but that delicate palm of Swami. I had no awareness of not only my surroundings, but even myself. Suddenly I woke up. Swami walked past the young man who was being pushed by people to make Baba see him. Then, He stopped in front of a labor worker sitting on the ground with his daughter lying on his lap. Swami bent a little bit and asked him in Kannada (the local language) " moorcha rogava?" (is she epileptic?). He said "yes Swami" and Swami materialized fist full of vibhuti, sprinkled all over her body and said "it is gone. She will be healthy" and walked away.

In the meantime, I carefully poured the Vibhuti from Gopal's palm into mine and then into the corner of the receiving blanket and wanted to tie a knot. But the aggressive crowd grabbed my hand and the receiving blanket and emptied the Vibhuti and threw the small blanket at me and left. Anyway, Swami did not put it directly in my palm because, He meant it for Gopal, not for me.

Later on, in the evening, we went to the other village (Vyasanagiri???) to listen to Swami's lecture.

Note 1: For a very long time, we would ask Gopal "what did Baba say to you?" and would get a kick when he said "goobboy, goobboy". I am sure Swami's touch is still helping Gopal with his life's purpose. Thank you Swami.

After reaching home, I realized that I never remembered to ask my two challenge questions.

Note 2: Rao was in Madison, Wisconsin at that time, working towards his Ph. D. No phone calls in those days. I wrote him a letter describing the incident with Swami. Around the time my letter reached him, I received a letter from him in which he described that he attended a Sai bhajan at the residence of one Diane Doughman and how devoted they were etc. This is how Swami took us into His embrace simultaneously. Later on, I met Diane, a wonderful person. Now Diane is not with Sai group anymore - just a change of mind.

Interview room in Whitefield

By now, Gopal was born and I was in India at Tungabhadradam, Karnataka with my husband's brother's family (This dream setting was in Whitefield Brindavan near Bangalore). I had never been there either. But I heard about it's existence. By now, I had Swami's darsan and I will write about it in my next post.

Here is the dream:

It was an interview room in Whitefield (where Baba used to spend good number of days). Actually, there were two rooms adjacent to each other. I was waiting in one room for Swami to come out of His residence and talk to me. Baba entered. Standing next to me was a Chinese man. I heard Baba talking to him, but I did not understand a word of He was saying. Then, Baba turned towards me and asked "What is your question?" I said " When am I going to join my husband in the USA?" He replied "Soon. In September".

Note: I joined my husband in September 1975, not September 1974. Thanks Swami.

My first dream of Baba - Feb 13, 1972

I was in Parthi standing in the crowd. There was a rope tied from one end of the line to the other, blocking the crowds from pushing into an Abhishekam area. I could hear the chanting of the slokams. The Abhishekam was going on inside a dome or tent like area. Someone told me that Sai Baba was performing it to Lord Shiva. But I heard many voices. I learned that there were many priests inside the tent chanting those Samskrit mantras. Suddenly, a hand comes out of the tent holding a large spoon full of the sacred water from the pooja. I looked around and no one moved. Some in the crowd started pushing me and motioning to me to accept that water. Finally, I yielded and stretched my hand forward and opened my palm. The sacred water was poured into my palm and I drank it.

Note: At that time, I was pregnant with my son Gopal and I think it was Shivaratri night. I had not been to Puttaparthi before 1975 September. I was really blessed. Now when I see my adult son, I feel more blessed having a son like Gopal. Thank you Swami !!

Preface

As I was growing up in Andhra Pradesh a Southern province in India, I did hear about Baba. In the 50's, he came to my native town of Nellore. My family was talking about the visit. I sneaked out and went to Mr. David's house ( the Chemistry lecturer of the local college). From his upstairs terrace we could see the college grounds. His daughter was my school mate. Anyway, it looked like millions of people were gathered in there. Being very short, I could not see Baba from the terrace. I returned home. Later on, when I was in my 11 th grade, my eldest sister who joined the teaching staff of that college in the Botany Department asked me to deliver her one day sick leave note to the principal. I went to his house which was walking distance from our house. He took the letter and asked me to follow him upstairs. There was a huge hall and the walls were covered with black and white photos of Swami. He told me that they have bhajans on Thursday nights and asked me to come and join. All those photos looked very odd to me. He and his wife Dr. Lakshmi had no children of their own. They had two adopted sons and they used to help any and all in need. I nodded my head in reply but never went to the bhajans . And, I never mentioned this to anyone until 1961 at which time, he mailed Vibhuti to my hostel (dorm) address in Tirupathi just before my M. Sc exams and I shared it with all my room mates. (By then, he knew me very well as a student in his college and he was an English professor also). This, at that time was done not because of my devotion to Swami, but out of my respect for the fatherly figure that sent me the sacred ash. Others also felt the same way. Later on, after Mr. Pillai passed away in 1962, I heard that Dr. Lakshmi moved to Puttaparthi and served there as a Doctor.

Then, in 1965, I read an article in the Illustrated weekly of India and it was about Baba with many photos. After reading the article, I declared to my friends "if I ever see this Baba, I am going to ask Him two things". One - to help my younger sister (who was my soulmate) walk like all of us (she had Polio as a baby) and two - why He is allowing my maternal uncle borrow money from all the relatives for his visits to Puttaparthi to see Baba. When I first saw Him in March 1974 .......... OOPS!!! I should write it in a separate post when I come to 1974.

Just a chat

Last night after a Krishna Ashtami bhajan session at a devotee's place, I was blessed with a few friends and others whom Jody Cleary introduced and when they all showed interest in my new blog and wanted to listen to my dreams, I got so excited and carried away that I talked more than I listened. But they motivated me more to write about my dreams and as I have many dreams of Baba in my diary from 1972, I would start with those in my future posts.

I am sure I had dreams between 1953 and 1972. But I just cannot recall any. Between 1972 and 1982 I had not documented any dreams. December of 1982, I got myself a diary and started writing them down - just those in which Baba was present. It was Connie Shaw whom I met in the Sai group while in Colorado suggested that I keep a dream diary. Actually she conducted a workshop on dreams at the retreat and talked about recurring themes in our dreams. Then suddenly, I could recall so many frustrating non-spiritual dreams. I shall write them in a separate post. I have vivid dreams many nights. Some are symbolic to me, some reacting to my day to day frustrations, some premonition ones and some are nightmares and I bet some are due to indigestion (hahahaha). I am sure this is the general occurrence with all dreamers. Some dreams, I get the message immediately and with some, I mention to my daughter Gayatri and my daughter-in-law Suhrida. They both are good listeners and try to help me with their comments. When I wake up, I try to repeat the dream in my mind so that I won't forget it. I just cannot wait to share the dream with someone. Sometimes I come across people who are either non-dreamers, non-believers or not-so-good-listeners. Still, I feel the urgency to share my dreams.

Even during my yatras, I had non-spiritual dreams. I may have written about them in my yatra blog. Please visit www.padmainindia.blogspot.com if interested.

Beginning the next post, I will try my best to document my Baba dreams as accurately as possible.

Please feel free to interpret and comment.

The first dream

Ever wondered what, when and where your first dream was? I wondered, but cannot remember. I am trying to go back as far back as I can. The only one I recall is the one from 1953. It was about my sister (immediately older to me) who passed away when I was about 10 months old. That means, I never could have remembered her. She was 4 years old when she died of a scorpion bite. My mother used to mourn her death frequently. That is the background. Anyway, in my dream, I was talking to her. She asked me to tell my mother not to cry for her and that she is happy on The Moon (Chandralokam = world/Land of Moon). I conveyed the message to my mother, who was immensely happy to hear that her daughter reached Chandralokam.